Adoptees at Politics & Prose!
You may know that a big part of my work is offer mentorship to adoptees through a nonprofit I founded, Adoptee Mentoring Society. I host group virtual sessions, called The Adoptee Lounge, and I also offer 1-on-1 mentorship. I recently traveled to Washington DC for my book tour stop, and was overjoyed when four adoptees who I’ve mentored wanted to travel to meet up with me in person!
These two young adults (pictured) are adoptees that I worked with individually, but upon learning about some of their similarities I decided to pair them together in a group session. They are similar ages, live in the same state and spoke of similar struggles as transnational adoptees. It was thrilling to me when both of their parents agreed to let them fly (their first solo flights) down to DC from Massachusetts to attend the book signing event and spend some quality time with me.
I also had the great fortune to meet up with two other mentees, 12-year-old siblings, while I was in D.C. Their families drove them to the city so we could spend a couple of hours together. We chose to spend it at the Smithsonian Museum and seeing The First Lady Exhibit and tasting designer, gourmet cupcakes in the Georgetown neighborhood (Y’all know my love of tea lattes…well, they had Lavendar Earl Grey Teacake cupcakes!).
After a chips and salsa appetizer and planning session with Steve Inskeep, we made our way over to infamous Politics & Prose bookstore where we were delighted to see a sold out, standing room only crowd had already gathered. Michele Norris joined us in the back room to finish prepping before we went out and began the conversation. You might recognize both of the moderators - Steve Inskeep is the host of NPR’s Morning Edition. He also is both an adoptee, and a transracial adoptive parent. Michele Norris is the Peabody Award winning journalist who I connected with last year to offer insight for a book that she’s currently writing - a continuation of The Race Card Project.
Sitting between these two powerhouses was surreal and thrilling. We began the conversation by talking about my book title, where I explained how irksome I find the word “should,” and how it seems to denote a sense of failure and judgment all at the same time. Whether it’s “You Should Be Grateful,” or “You should go to the gym!” the comments simply don’t invite a spirit of curiosity. My favorite moment came during the Q&A segment when an attendee reflected on this and spoke confidently into the microphone saying; “I don’t like being ‘should’ on!” Everyone laughed, and I loved it. So clever.
It was a joyful moment for me to look out at audience and see my mentees. This is the type of formative experience that I hope for so many adopted youth to be able to experience. To be part of an uplifting, challenging and powerful adoptee-centered event that validates their identities.
The Lab School
The night before, I had the opportunity to speak at The Lab School, a premier, independent school for students with learning differences. I read on their website that Lab is a place “where differences such as ADHD and dyslexia are seen as engines of innovative thinking…” I love that!
A dear friend (and transracial adoptive parent) moderated our conversation, which centered on supporting adoptees in adolesence. At this school, there is a substantial population of adoptees - so many, in fact, that they have an affinity group specifically for adopted students. A few years ago, I presented about adoption and the schools to the National Association of Independent Schools during their People of Color Conference, where many staff and faculty members were running affinity groups at their schools, but hadn’t thought about how a Black student’s experience might differ from a Black transracial adoptee’s experience and thus they may not feel completely comfortable in an affinity group designed for Black students. I had the opportunity to meet Anthony Perry, the Director of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at the school, he was moved by the book talk and encouraged to examine if their adoptee affinity group is accounting for the complexities of the experience. At present this group is not led by a staff member who has the lived experience of adoption.
So grateful to Kathryn Hamm (Happy Birthday!), who worked with The Lab School to put on this event. You can view the full event HERE.