A Special Pandemic Delivery for Adopted Teens
This year I have spent over 70 hours virtually mentoring adopted teens between the ages of 12-19 - and I’ve enjoyed every second of it! During an unquestionably difficult year for all of us, these teens really brightened up my days. Some of the conversations I’ve had with my mentees have resulted in:
A youth deciding to begin learning Amharic (a common language in Ethiopia) so that they will be able to speak to their biological mother without a translator.
The realization that their adoption may have made life easier for their biological mom.
Reuniting with a biological sibling and beginning a relationship.
I’ve also hosted group sessions with some of the youth - I call them The Adoptee Lounge. Powerful conversations have ensued where the youth share perspectives and challenge others to think about adoption in new ways. Recently I witnessed the youth carry a conversation without much facilitation from me. It went like this:
12-year-old: “Do you call your birth mom “mom?”
14-year-old: “I call her my ‘Colombian Mom’.” It’s kinda awkward, but she is still my mom. What do you call your birth mom?”
12-year-old: “I just call her by her first name, because she doesn’t even know who I am…can a ‘mom’ be a mom if they don’t even know their kid?”
13-year-old: “I think so, because mom is both a noun and a verb. But I understand what you’re saying because the word ‘mom’ should kinda be reserved for the people who you know care about you.”
12-year-old: “Yes...it’s like the word ‘mom’ is too important to give that title to someone who doesn’t know me.”
14-year-old: “But what if your birth mom does care about you, you just don’t know it?”— Youth Adoptee Lounge
There was a slight pause at this moment, so I chimed in to validate that they were all correct - that they get to decide how they want to identify their biological parents. These are moments where I do a victory dance after finishing the session, because I know that many birth parents do care about their children even if they aren’t in contact with them. But there is such a power in the youth having a dialogue about this together. Quite impactful!
Thanks to many of you, I was able to send each of them a special gift. You sent beautiful items for their gift boxes; satin-lined beanies (great for protecting black hair!), personalized journals, Black Lives Matter stickers, personalized ornaments, Bluetooth speakers, manicure kits, fuzzy slipper socks and bath bombs. In addition to these donated items I was also able to purchase a few very personalized gifts that directly supported some of the issues they’re struggling with at the moment.
Your monetary contributions are a big part of the success and growth of my mentorship program this year. Thank you so much for supporting my small business and for trusting my heart and position in the lives of these youth. I simply love being invited into their lives.
You can contribute to the mentorship program here. So many families of my mentees are struggling with unemployment, so your contribution allows me to continue to offer sliding scale or no-fee for those for whom payment is a hardship.